At the DMV

Pardon me, it's the MVC.  

Regardless of the acronym, the service hasn't changed.  I first visited the Hazlet service center and was told "you have to take that to Eatontown."  

"Thank you, what time do they close?"

"Four-Thirty...NEXT."

Shit.  It's 3:20.  Well, that's an hour to go from 117 to 105, plus traffic on 36.  I can make it.

I don't think I've been in the Eatontown "service center" since I received my driver's license in May of 1976 and I don't think that it's changed much.  After seeing the third receptionist, I was given a blue card with a number on it.  Pretty high tech.  Affixed was a mini yellow post-it with a red Sharpie line on it.  Must be some kind of code.

Great!  Number 433..  I wonder what number they're on.  This is good.  I'll have my driver consultation, take care of my business, and I'll be out of here.  

Muffled and faint, I heard "number 405 please report to service desk 12."

405?  The math in my head indicated that my afternoon is now shot.  I sat down on a plastic chair in the gallery of frowns.

How many bags of crunchy Cheetos can a state trooper eat?  Why does the gallery of frowns have to be witness to this?  What about the cheedle residue on his fingers?  Surely it would affect the Candy Crush moves he was playing on his state-issued state-of-the-art smartphone.

"Number 406, please report to service desk 8."

Service desk 8, great!  They must have a lot  service desks open.  This is good.  I'll have my driver consultation, take care of my business, and I'll be out of here.

I looked down the corridor of shame; each cubicle had a home-made laminated sign with the desk number represented.  11, 10, 9, 8, 12.  I guess 12 was added after the service desk layout scheme was planned.  

"Number 407, please report to service desk 12."

Eight and twelve.  Eight and twelve?  Only two?  There are only two cubicles open?  

I may as well settle in a make the best of this.  Let's look around and observe the plethora of homemade signs.

Cashier This Way -->>

SHHH!  Testing in Progress!

Rest Rooms This Way -->>

"Number 408, please report to service desk 12, "Number 409, please report to service desk 8."

Two at a time!  This is great!  If I used the rest room, at least it would break up the monotony.  Maybe I'll come out and magically they will be up to number 430!  

I then watched a woman walk out of said rest room with at least a five foot tile-comet stuck to her shoe.  I think it was easily 20 squares of sandpaper quality toilet tissue.  

Do I say something?  
Do I just step on the last square so that the kite tail disengages? 
Do I do nothing?

Yes, do nothing.  It's rainy anyway, she'll lose it on her first step outside.  

Numbers were coming at a clip!  Great!  Now they are pushing us through.  I'll be able to get my business done and get out of here!

"Number 433?"  "We're sorry, but we will not be seeing any more drivers today."

Wait, what?  

"But since I'm writing Monday and Tuesday's date and my initials on the back of the card, If you come in on those days, you'll be pushed to the front"

Great.  Thanks.  Have a nice weekend.  At least I have a souvenir.